H O W to C H A T


It will happen. 

 There will be a day when someone says something that makes your blood boil. 

 What should you do?

 When you disagree with something someone has said, focus on challenging the statement rather than the person who said it. 

STRATEGY: REITERATE • CONTEMPLATE • RESPIRE • COMMUNICATE 
These steps can provide a way to persevere during difficult conversations:
Step 1: Reiterate. 
Restate what you heard. This step enables students to reflect on what they have heard as opposed to what they think they may have heard. Repeating what they have heard limits miscommunication and misinformation.
Step 2: Contemplate. 
Count to 10 before responding. Students can think about their responses and use the time to compose what they want to say. Taking time to think about their responses helps move students away from immediate emotional responses that can potentially derail the conversation.
Step 3: Respire. 
Take a breath to check in with yourself. Suggesting students take a few breaths before responding may help them settle their thoughts and emotions during difficult conversations.  
Step 4: Communicate. 
Speak with compassion and thoughtfulness. Students should do their best to speak as they want to be spoken to, assuming good intentions and seeking understanding. Explain that when they disagree with something someone has said, they should focus on challenging the statement rather than the person who said it.

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